And babies make... 15!

2009-02-13T10:53:00Z

Amanda Tan weighs the decision whether to even have one baby.

I READ with amazement about 33-year-old Nadya Suleman’s multiple pregnancies when she gave birth in late January to octuplets; in addition to the six other children she already has.

That's 14 children. I was astonished by not just the sheer number of children, but that she had made this choice at all.

In countless reports she has said how happy she is to have so many children but her choices have left me puzzled.

I have to admit, I’m not a fan of babies, nor do I particularly like the notion of childbirth.

Perhaps I’m too young for marriage. Certainly, I'm not ready for child-bearing. In my mind, how does anyone say to themselves: "I'm now ready to sacrifice my life to create another"

Many couples don't consider having children a "sacrifice" but rather, an addition to the family. Someone to be embraced.

I, however, feel that having a child is just that, a sacrifice. It seems the only outcome is: "Hello, Junior. Bye-bye, dreams".

Before anyone takes offence, I must say many of those people I admire have life aspirations that include being a good mother.

I just don't think it's for me.

Call it selfishness on my part, but I grapple with the idea of helping another human being - which I’ve created - to pursue his or her dreams when I can’t even do the same for myself.

Shouldn't I "settle" my life first before I help someone else do that?

As for the familiar argument is that a baby bonds a family, I question why a relationship needs to anchor itself on anything?

I believe there are other factors that contribute to marital happiness - and they don’t have to include another human being.

Friends have urged me relentlessly to change my mind. Many more brush my declarations aside and insist that I will eat my words one day.

In fact, I'd love to find out how it feels to want kids.

Before that time comes, I do think society expectations are reinforced by people like Ms Suleman and celebrities like Angelina Jolie.

I might change my mind but I’m not betting on it; I still can’t see why anyone would want 14 children.

The Straits Times Blogs - Amanda Tan

And babies make... 15!