The Straits Times Blogs - Jonathan Wong

The journey doesn’t matter

2009-07-14T22:30:00Z

Jonathan Wong says ‘so what if the Malaysian United match is just a friendly’?

HANDS up all you Manchester United fans who are making the four-hour drive up to Kuala Lumpur this weekend.

In case you weren't aware, the Red Devils will be playing a Malaysia XI at the Bukit Jalil Stadium this Saturday, part of their four-match pre-season tour of Asia.

At least 100 Singaporean fans, including several colleagues, will cross the Causeway just to catch a glimpse of their beloved team live in action.

Why do they bother? After all, sports should be competitive. It should be a contest about winning and losing where in 90 minutes of football you have sweated not just effort, but ambition as well.

Only when athletes are pushed to their maximum do they reveal their greatness and demand our admiration.

A friendly match seems to be the anti-thesis of this notion.

The cynic will say such tours are commercially driven events. They are here to build up their fitness and avoid any injuries.

There is little, if any, incentive for the United players to play at anywhere near their maximum abilities.

The intensity, the level of play, will be nowhere close to what audiences in Asia flip across television channels to see.

As chief executive David Gill mentions on the club's official website: "Our fans in Asia generate money for the club – there are no two ways about it."

But maybe such things don't always matter. A fan does not need convincing of his hero's achievements. He does not need reminders of Wayne Rooney's impetuous brilliance or to see Dimitar Berbatov caress the ball like a lover to feel giddy with affection.

For those fans who will converge in Kuala Lumpur, it is not about goals or freekicks or stepovers (although without that Portuguese such sights were less likely anyway).

To that 10-year-old Malaysian boy who sees Park Ji Sung in a red jersey running down the flanks this Saturday, it is a reminder that "Hey, my dream is possible. It can be done."

To that fan who bumps into Rio Ferdinand and co shopping along the streets in Bukit Bintang and takes a picture with them and shares a short word, it is a reminder that these players are not so different from him, that heroes on television screens can exist in the same settings as us.

As guests in a foreign land, United will probably be generous with the ball and look to share it with their Malaysian host. Entertainment, not performance, will be all that is asked of them.

They know their mere appearance in Asia is enough to generate fanatical support from the fans.

But they are Premier League champions and such talent cannot be contained, even on a humid night in Malaysia's capital.

Fans who have paid anywhere from RM58 to RM308 know this. That is also why they will come.

For that one instance of magic – a feint by Ryan Giggs, a cheeky dribble by Nani, an outrageous pass by Rooney and a deceptively simple finish by Michael Owen.

I asked a colleague of mine if she would do the same – venture up north if her beloved Blackburn Rovers came to the region.

She smiled.

"Of course, I wouldn't even have to think about it. If I didn't go, there'll be no one in the stadium to watch them!"

Sports fans are like that. The journey does not matter, they somehow find a way. Even if it’s just for a friendly.

Drama and tension in a shoot-off

2009-07-02T22:00:00Z

Jonathan Wong takes a look at the suspense of shooting at the AYG.

A SHOOT-OFF in a shooting event rivals any other sport in terms of drama and tension.

But only if you can get past the mundanity of the qualifying rounds – where girls have to fire 40 shots and boys 60 shots – with the top eight qualifying for the shoot-off round.

They have 75 and 105 minutes to complete their respective rounds, which works out to about slightly under two minutes per shot if they take the full allocated time.

Imagine that, watching someone load his rifle, cock it, stand still, control his breathing, take aim, squeeze the trigger, look down at his screen to see where the pellet landed and then put the rifle back on its stand.

And the whole process is repeated again. No wonder they say shooting is not spectator-friendly. They were obviously not referring to the audience being hit by a stray pellet.

But don’t get me wrong. What these shooters do requires amazing levels of concentration, bordering on obsessive-compulsive behaviour. They fidget constantly, shrugging their shoulders, arranging their pellets, adjust their glasses and stare at everything in the room and yet notice nothing.

And that is for just one shot.

So many little details matter hugely in this sport. The quality of the ammunition, the vibrations caused by the shooting jacket to the shooter’s posture, the size of the soles on his shoes, the trigger pressure, a shooter’s breathing pattern.

Everything matters when a full 10 points is not considered perfect. In shoot-offs, scores are calculated to decimal points and while a 10.0 is obviously better than a 9.9, it is not enough when perfection is a score of 10.9.

Two days of competition has passed in the Asian Youth Games, with the boys and girls 10-metre air rifle events completed. Chinese shooters Zhong Chunchan and Wu Jianing have both prevailed and claimed the gold medal.

Both have been a picture of calm collection and poise. Chunchan admitted after her win on Wednesday that "shooting is so unpredictable, you never know who will win until the end".

Golfers on the back nine at a Major with a lead on Sunday have been known to sneak a peek at the leaderboard, praying that the word "Woods" is not below their own.

On both days during the shoot-offs, the lead has changed more times than a Madonna’s outfit during a concert. But the shooters do not notice, or so they say.

Singapore’s Abel Lim, who picked up a bronze medal in the boys event, said he was not even aware of the scores or that he was trailing Korean Kim Yong before his final shot.

But how much can they tune out, standing there on the lanes, with the crowd murmuring and the cameras clicking simultaneously?

Korea’s Go Dowon, runner-up to Chunchan, said that she could hear the cheers and groans from her teammates throughout the final.

Wasn’t it distracting then?

"Maybe it was," she concedes, "but it’s better that they’re cheering for me than if they just kept quiet."

Shooting is a peculiar sport. Before the final, each shooter waits in the holding area before being introduced to the audience.

They do not stride in. Instead they waddle, unable to bend their arms due to their stiff shooting jackets and trousers.

It looks almost comical until they pick up their rifles and suddenly these penguin impersonators do not look as cuddly when armed.

The atmosphere changes, a hushed silence lingers in the air. Tension hovers like a fog, blocking the crowd from the shooters.

Even ex-shooters, like former multiple SEA Games trap gold medallist Chng Seng Mok, are prone to the anxiety of the spectator.

The suspense of shooting. But only during a shoot-off.

Cream of the crop

2009-06-02T04:15:00Z

Jonathan Wong gives us the 10 best EPL Buys of the season.

MARK Hughes, manager of Manchester City, has a reported £150 million ($348 million) to spend in the summer.

But a huge transfer kitty is no guarantee for success, as City fans already know. The best players do not always require pulling an Ocean’s Eleven to finance. In some cases, the best things in life do actually come free.

Here, in my view, are the ten best pieces of business pulled off by various clubs this season.

10 Sebastien Bassong (Newcastle)
Yes, his club did get relegated. Yes, the 22-year-old French defender was sent off twice this season. Yes, the Magpies have the fourth-worst defensive record in the league.

But ask any Geordie and they will agree, Bassong was the only shining light in what turned out to be a nightmare year in the North East.

9 John Pantsil (Fulham)
After two years at West Ham where he made only 19 appearances, the Ghanaian full-back was a regular starter for Fulham, starting 37 games.

Strong and quick with good anticipation, the highlight of his season must surely be stopping Cristiano Ronaldo when the sides met in March, with Fulham claiming a sensational 2-0 victory.

He was even reportedly given a £10,000 reward from manager Roy Hodgson for successfully man-marking the Portuguese winger.

8 Albert Riera (Liverpool)
Wingers signed by Rafa Benitez have been unqualified failures. The list so far has read Mark Gonzalez, Harry Kewell, Jermaine Pennant, Antonio Nunez, Ryan Babel.

Step forward the man from Manacor in Spain who has finally given balance to Liverpool’s flanks.

His dipping volley from Jose Reina’s 80-yard clearance in a 5-0 trashing of Aston Villa highlighting the Spaniard’s goalscoring ability.

7 James Milner (Aston Villa)
Signed for £12 million at the start of the season, the England U-21 international has been especially dangerous with his set-pieces.

Comfortable on both flanks and adept at shooting with either foot, the 23-year-old has eight assists this season, the most at Villa Park.

Added to his goals (3), Milner was responsible for more than a fifth of his team’s goals this season.

6 Jose Bosingwa (Chelsea)
While not exactly a steal at almost £17 million, the overlapping right-back quickly solved the Blues problem position from last year.

Strong defensively, his ability to get forward was an early feature of Chelsea’s wing play and despite the appointment of Guus Hiddink, the Portuguese has continued to impress with his raids down the right.

5 Mark Schwarzer (Fulham)
The commanding 36-year-old goalkeeper has played every minute of Fulham’s campaign this season, collecting 15 clean sheets along the way.

With the 1.94m-tall Australian in goal, the Cottagers have the fourth-best defensive record in the league and finished in seventh position, earning them a trip to Europe next season.

An excellent shot-stopper, Schwarzer arrived on a free transfer and has been the best goalkeeper in the league this season.

4 James Beattie (Stoke City)
Tipped by almost everybody to go down, Stoke left their critics stunned by finishing in 12th position.

The 31-year-old veteran, signed in the January transfer window, has played an immense role in the Potters’ survival.

With four goals in his first five matches, “Beats” single-handed earned his new club four invaluable points, helping them pull clear of the relegation zone and to Premier League safety.

3 Marouane Fellaini (Everton)
The most recognisable player in the league. And yet when he first arrived, Everton fans were asking themselves “Marouane WHO?”

As the club’s record signing at £15 million, the box-to-box midfielder was under pressure from the start.

38 games and eight goals later (tying him with fan favourite Tim Cahill), Fellaini has provided Everton with a physical presence in midfield and at only 21, the Belgium international looks to have a bright future at Goodison Park.

He was also named Everton's Young Player of the Season.

2 Andrei Arshavin (Arsenal)
Another January transfer signing, the Russian has only started 12 league games but what an impact he has made.

Adding an attacking midfielder to the Arsenal rooster seemed an unnecessary luxury that Arsene Wenger could ill-afford. But Arshavin’s sheer class and technique has overshadowed his London teammates.

There have been goals (four against Liverpool in an incredible individual performance), there have been assists (a crucial cutback for Robin van Persie to equalise against Hull in the FA Cup in March).

But most of all, there is renewed hope at the Emirates Stadium.

1 Federico Macheda (Manchester United)
Okay technically the 17-year-old teenager is not a new signing. He was signed by United in 2007 from Lazio as a trainee.

But he did sign his first professional contract last August with the Red Devils.

And there’s no denying the impact this Italian wonderkid has had on this season’s title race.

Two goals (his only of the campaign) against Aston Villa and Sunderland turned two draws into miraculous wins. Instead of two points collected, a maximum of six were snatched instead.

That’s a difference of four points. And United’s winning margin at the end of the season?

You guessed it. Four points.

PHOTO: AP

Bring the sexy back

2009-05-18T22:35:00Z

Jonathan Wong says some football teams have artistry in abundance but no titles.

MAYBE Ruud Gullit had the right idea. The Dutch coach coined the term "sexy football" while working as a BBC pundit during the 1996 European Championship in England.

Adding to the footballing lexicon is one thing, putting it into practise is obviously quite another.

On Saturday, Manchester United were held to a goalless draw at home to Arsenal. It was a dour affair with zero shots on goal by United.

But the performance mattered little as that result, and the solitary point earned, was enough for The Red Devils to claim the Premier League for the third consecutive time, and their eighteenth in total (tying Liverpool's English league record).

Fingers around the world immediately began pounding keyboards. Scribes lifted their pens and drafted eulogies. Idle conversations in local pubs turned serious – opinions were offered and rebuttals were swiftly returned.

Was this the greatest United team of all time? The arguments for this extravagant notion are indeed telling.

A third successive Premier League title, the League Cup, the Fifa Club World Cup and a romantic date with Barcelona in the Champions League final in Rome next Wednesday night.

A possible quadruple then.

In a sport where results are the only measure of success – seven clubs have changed managers this season – United's current season and its team is the yardstick everyone else is judged upon.

But has it been sexy? Has it been memorable? Has this season left you the United fan gasping for breath, wanting more?

Now the cynics will say if you want such aesthetic football go to North London. They have this artistry in abundance but unfortunately no titles.

That apparently is the bounty to be paid for beauty.

Gullit should know. At Newcastle where he was the manager a decade ago, he sought to turn a magpie into a peacock. Inevitably he failed and was removed.

And in that same season, a United team did the seemingly impossible. They won the treble. But it was not simply those three titles – the FA Cup, Premier League, Champions League – that linger in our memory, but the style and panache that brought those victories.

It was, to be honest, sexy stuff.

Two thrilling 3-3 draws against Barcelona in the group stages of the CL, an epic FA Cup semi-final replay against holders Arsenal, THAT final against Bayern Munich in Barcelona.

Throw in the 3-2 away victory at Juventus (after being two goals down), an FA Cup comeback against Liverpool in the fourth round, an 8-1 trashing of Nottingham Forest and it’s easy to see how United captured a fan's imagination, blending romance with success.

A keen statistician will tell you that United have scored 85 goals in the league and Europe this year, a massive 36 goals fewer than the 1998-99 campaign.

Moreover in the league this season, their 67 goals in 37 games so far is lesser than in all but the first of their 11 title-winning seasons under Alex Ferguson.

That this current United side has not offered a game that demands to be remembered is not a criticism. After all, they went 14 league games without conceding a goal (a British league record), a run stretching four months.

But defending has never been sexy, which is why the last defender to win the Football Writers' Association Footballer of the Year was Liverpool’s Steve Nicol in 1989 (this presumes that football writers know best).

Maybe it's because this United have won two previous league titles and are the defending European champions that some of the allure of winning is lost.

The United of '99 were trophy-less the previous year. Each game played felt like a step closer to an impossible dream which no fan wanted to be roused from.

Now games are expected to be won, opponents quickly dismissed with derision and chants of "Are you City in disguise?" repeated.

Winning breeds familiarity, they say. Whether or not that is true, one thing is certain... it's hard to be sexy when everyone is expecting it.

Miracles not confined to churches

2009-04-09T22:40:00Z

Jonathan Wong thinks that golf is the tonic after Hamilton's lies.

WHAT a tumultuous week it’s been for world champion Lewis Hamilton and the McLaren team.

Since the debacle in Melbourne, where the McLaren team conspired to rob Jarno Trulli of third place, the repercussions have been swift and devastating.

Dave Ryan, the team’s sporting director, has since been sacked while Hamilton’s standing in the sport has plummeted.

There is also the small matter of further sanctions by The International Automobile Federation, the sport’s governing body.

Hamilton’s finger is pointed at Ryan, the blame for his misdeeds forced onto the Kiwi’s shoulders.

In a press conference last Friday to apologise for his mistake, Hamilton said: “I was misled and that’s the way it went.”

Wow.

That got me thinking, is it too much to ask of athletes to own up when they make mistakes and not try to weasel out?

And what does it say of a world champion of this sport, or any sport, that when faced with the choice of honesty or an additional championship point, he flounders.

He hides behind team orders, his justification for his actions amounts to a flimsy “He told me to do it.”

Why the sharp reaction you might ask? Two words. The Masters.
Golf’s first Major of the year is finally here. And yes it brings with it drama, excitement – will Tiger win his fifth Green Jacket and inch closer to Jack Nicklaus’ magical 18? Or will Padraig Harrington and his ridiculously-named “Paddy Slam” splash the headlines come Monday?

But more importantly, it reminds us that words like integrity and honesty should not be driven over as carelessly as one young Englishman has done.

No sport is perfect, obviously. Golf too has its sinners. Why just last week my dad recounted how during an inter-club competition at Warren Golf and Country Club a player’s lost ball kept reappearing on the fairway.

Apparently miracles on Sundays are not confined to churches.

In a sport where the rule book is almost as thick as the Bible and treated as such, its players are wont to misbehave.

It is a rare sport that leaves its players to police themselves. Only at the highest levels of competition, the Majors for example, is there an official nearby. And even then, not every flight has one in accompaniment.

Golfers are thus left to govern themselves and do so, even when to their detriment.

American golfer J.P. Haynes played an illegal ball for a single hole during the second stage of Qualifying school last year.

It was an error unbeknownst to everyone, including Haynes himself. He realised his violation a day later and informed officials, thereby disqualifying himself and losing his exempt status for this year’s PGA season.

His reply to the incident?

“I don't think anyone would have known, but I would have known. Had I made it all the way through Q-school and gotten my card back, I think that it would have been anticlimactic for me.”

Perhaps the most famous example of the unique code of honour placed by golf on its players is the 1925 US Open where Bobby Jones called a one-stroke penalty on himself after his ball had moved as he addressed it in the rough.

No one present had seen this faintest of movement by the ball. Not the officials, not Jones’ playing partner Walter Hagen, not caddies or the spectators gathered.

But Jones called the penalty on himself anyway. That single stroke cost him an outright victory and he would go on to lose a 36-hole play-off to Willie Macfarlane.

When applauded for his sportsmanship, the then 23-year-old simply replied: “You might as well praise me for not robbing banks.”

Someone once famously said, if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.

I guess he wasn’t a golfer.

Memories of a special one

2009-02-10T11:09:00Z

Jonathan Wong mourns the loss of Scolari & wonders who'll replace him.

HE LASTED seven months, just three less than his predecessor. One was a World Cup-winning manager while the other had steered Chelsea to their first ever Champions League final.

And yet, like Avram Grant before him, Luiz Felipe Scolari has been removed from the Chelsea office. It has been less than two years since the Jose Mourinho era at Stamford Bridge, but it seems no man is capable of filling the Portuguese’s stylish trench coat.

Scolari and Grant each had a winning percentage of more than 55 per cent, better than 4 of the 5 Chelsea managers before them. And yet, those four men– Glenn Hoddle, Ruud Gullit, Gianluca Vialli and Claudio Ranieri, kept their jobs for a combined 11 years.

What’s changed then?

Money. Big money. £3.8 billion to be exact. That was Roman Abramovich’s estimated personal wealth back in 2003 when he bought the London club. When the Russian oligarch arrived, he brought with him a hunger for success that was insatiable and impatient in equal measure.

Alex Ferguson, talked of his surprise at the Brazilian’s dismissal, and said: “It is a sign of the times. There is absolutely no patience in the world now.”

Maybe Ferguson has a point. Unfortunately, after investing more than £600 million and seeing the vision of his “Chelsea project” jeopardised, Abramovich had to act. It was swift, ruthless, and in all likelihood, rash.

Over a short span of time, Chelsea have fallen from a great height. Back-to-back league titles, Carling Cup and FA Cup victories, seem an almost distant memory.

Mourinho’s last league game in September 2007 was a 0-0 draw at home to Blackburn. Four of his starters on that day also started on Saturday for Scolari.

He might be in a different country with a different team, but Mourinho’s presence in West London is still strongly felt. Of his nine “untouchables”, only Claude Makelele is no longer at Chelsea. The core of the team, remains distinctively Mourinho’s.

The burly, moustachioed Scolari, or Big Phil as he is affectionately known, was never going to match the dashing Mourinho in the charisma department.

When asked if he was “the Special One” at the beginning of the season by the media, it was a humble Scolari who said: “Yes, I am special for my friends and for my family, no more.”

But what about as a manager, someone prodded. To which he replied: “As a manager? So-so.”

Grant, in his first press conference as Chelsea manager, was similarly self-effacing in an assessment of himself when compared to Mourinho. He said: “I am a normal person.”

It appears, 17 months on, that Chelsea are still waiting for another special someone to take over.

The brilliance that is Nadal

2009-02-03T10:48:00Z

Jonathan Wong compares Nadal to nine tennis greats at the same age.

MUCH has been written about last Sunday’s Australian Open final. Mostly about the emotional outpouring of tears by Roger Federer.

Was he wrong to cry? Many people have chosen to salute Federer’s tears as a sign of a athlete’s mortality. Others have decided to vilify the man for attempting to steal the moment away from Rafael Nadal.

As Nadal embraced Federer to console him and as the poignancy of that moment struck me, I could not help but compare the two men. Comparisons between athletes are always difficult to justify, they require in-depth research and imagination coupled with a good dash of relativism.

It got me thinking, just how good is Nadal at this age? Compared not just to Federer but to the previous tennis greats over the last 50 years.

At 22 years and eight months, the Spaniard has already collected six grand slams (four French Open, one Wimbledon and one Australian Open) on three different surfaces (hard court, grass and clay).

Compare Nadal to the nine best tennis players and former world number ones in the open era, and at this age he is ahead of everyone, except Borg.

Is it presumption of us to think then that Nadal is a better player than Federer?

After all, athletes are judged on their performances. They are judged on numbers. Which was why it probably hurt Federer so much when he lost to Nadal.

For Federer, he wanted that number 14. 13 just isn't enough.

And for Nadal, it's currently six and counting.

1. Jimmy Connors

At this age, Connors had only won three slams, albeit in the same year in 1974. The American missed out on a possible calendar year grand slam after missing the French Open that year due to a ban imposed on him.

2. Bjorn Borg

As the player most often compared to Nadal, it is perhaps fitting that the Spaniard’s record at this age is matched by the Swede.

With six slams won at Wimbledon and the French Open along with two finals appearance at the US Open, Borg ties Nadal’s tally though Nadal has been victorious on three different surfaces.

3. John McEnroe

Another left-handed player like Nadal and Connors, the controversial McEnroe’s five-set final’s victory against Borg at the All England Club in 1981, his first Wimbledon title, ended Borg’s record of five consecutive titles there.

4. Ivan Lendl

Despite competing in 19 grand slam singles finals and reaching at least one slam final for 11 consecutive years (1981-1991), Lendl did not win a grand slam title until the age of 24, at the French Open in 1984.

By Nadal’s age however, the Czechoslovakia-born Lendl had managed two runner-ups at the French and US Open.

5. Mats Wilander

In a four year span between 1982- 1985, the Swede won four slams.

This was followed by a barren spell of almost three years before Wilander won his next three grand slams, all in 1988.

6. Boris Becker

After a meteoric rise at the age of 22 and with his four slams, “Boom Boom Boris” was the talk of the town.

However, the German would only manage another two slam titles at the Australian Open in the next seven years.

7. Andre Agassi

The only man on the list with a career grand slam, having won all four grand slam titles on tennis’ three main surfaces.

Remarkably, Agassi had only won one slam title by the age of 22, with his next title only coming two years later at the 1994 US Open.

8. Pete Sampras

The record winner of grand slams, with an astounding seven Wimbledon titles to his name.

However, at Nadal’s age, “Pistol Pete” was lagging behind with just four slam wins, including his first Wimbledon title in 1993.

9. Roger Federer

Regarded by many as the greatest tennis player of all time following a brilliant run from 2005-2007 where the Swiss won eight of the 12 grand slams while making the finals in three of the remaining four.

Unfortunately for Federer, those three final losses came at the French Open to Nadal.

I quit, so I text

2008-12-16T11:49:00Z

Jonathan Wong looks at Keane's modern way of resignation.

LESS than two weeks ago, Roy Keane decided enough was enough. After 100 games in charge of Sunderland Football Club, the man who turned an unfashionable northeast club into a “box office”, walked away from football.

Fans and critics alike have blogged, phoned into radio stations, conducted philosophical discussions over a pint at their local pubs, each expressing his two cents worth on the matter.

There is no need for another opinion to be jettisoned into cyberspace, to defend the actions of a man that lives on his own terms, or to condemn him for his failings.

What did strike me however, was the manner in which Keane announced his decision to chairman Niall Quinn. The Telegraph called him “a manager of the 21st century” and his choice of a text message to indicate his resignation perhaps best exemplifies this moniker.

The first Short Message Service, or SMS as it is better known, was sent by Englishman Neil Papworth to his friend Richard Jarvis on 3 December 1992. It read “Merry Christmas”.

16 years later, SMS has become thoroughly ingrained into our culture. We use it for everything – from advertising to socialising to queuing at hospitals. Commercially, SMS is a profitable business too. It is a multi-billion dollar industry, given the sheer volume of SMS sent from mobile phones across the globe.

In 2004, the Asian region totalled 176 billion SMS sent. This year, the Philippines leads the way in terms of usage, with the average user sending 755 messages each month. Compare this with China where the monthly average is just over 100 messages.

Keane the player was of the traditional school, where hard graft and dogged determination were valued above all else. He enjoyed confrontation, welcomed it like an old friend.

Keane the manager however, is a man of modern times, embracing the faceless quality of technology. Rather than greet conflict again, he preferred to text it.

A pink panther by any other name

2008-12-01T09:55:00Z

Jonathan Wong eavesdrops at the Lexus Cup and ponders golfers' nicknames.

NAMES, or specifically, nicknames, fascinate me.

Their origins are mystifying, an innocuous incident in school is sometimes all it takes for it to be carved in stone, an asterisk now affixed to your name.

We do it all the time, bestowing new names onto friends, colleagues, past teachers. Sometimes for the simplest reasons.

For example, at the recent Lexus Cup here, while following the golfers on their rounds, I overheard a woman say to her husband, "Where's the Pink Panther? She's not in this flight. It must be the previous group, that's the Pink Panther's flight lah."

For those who haven't scored an A in golf trivia, the Pink Panther refers to American golfer Paula Creamer, whose penchant for all things pink has earned her this wonderfully apt nickname.

This got me thinking.

What is it about golfers and their nicknames? And not just nicknames, but animal ones at that. There's Eldrick "Tiger" Woods, "Golden Bear" Jack Nicklaus, "Great White Shark" Greg Norman, Retief "the Goose" Goosen and finally, Ben "the Hawk" Hogan.

All intimidating animals, (I've been bitten by a goose, so they count as well). All successful golfers. Being pursued by Tiger or the Golden Bear might provoke nervous glances from golfers at the front, but the Pink Panther? I can't help but picture the moustached Inspector Jacques Clouseau hiding behind the trees, waiting for any criminal slip ups.

While Woods almost certainly would have won his 14 Majors regardless of his nickname, it probably wouldn't have generated that same electric atmosphere on the golf course. Eldrick in the lead? Sorry, that headline just doesn't have the required bite.

So remember, when thinking of a golfing nickname for your son or daughter, try and steer clear of animated cartoon characters. No Porky Pigs, no Bugs Bunny please.

Maybe the Tasmanian Devil though.