More of that later but first, there is the little matter of trying to get back to my hotel in central Jakarta.

I spent the entire morning and early afternoon in Bogor, a city about one and a half hours outside Jakarta.

Singapore's favourite footballing son Fandi Ahmad had invited me to watch his Pelita Jaya team train.

Yours truly was in town to keep tabs on national players Noh Alam Shah, Baihakki Khaizan, Mustafic Fahrudin and Ridhuan Muhamad, who had all signed for Indonesia Super League (ISL) teams.

Being a kind host, Fandi and his assistant, another ex-Lion, Kadir Yahaya, offered to drive me back to the capital in their Kijang, an ubiquitous people carrier common on Indonesian roads.

As we weaved in and out of the heavy traffic, Fandi and Kadir made it crystal clear that it is not just pure footballing ability that will ensure success in the ISL.

There is the wrath of Mother Nature to contend with.

Kadir said: "Just a few days ago, strong tremors hit Jakarta but I thought it was going to be an earthquake. I took no chances, grabbed my laptop and just ran out of my office fearing for my life."

Inefficiency can be a problem as well.

This journalist's 1pm flight from Jakarta to Malang was delayed to 3.40pm without notice.

At the departure gate, passengers were finally told that Malang airport was closed and the flight would be diverted to Surabaya.

Airline staff said that it would be a two-hour bus ride from Surabaya to Malang. In truth, the journey took four and a half hours.

At one stage, the highway sunk due to gas exploration works gone wrong. It took an hour to make the 6km detour.

"This is very normal," Fandi said  matter of factly, never taking his eye off the road.

"Flights are cancelled or delayed without notice. You just make sure you arrive at the airport early and wait for the news."

As the Kijang expertly swerved left and right to dodge motorcycles and overtake slower vehicles, Fandi and Kadir spoke animatedly about the crazy travelling teams have to do to play 34 games a year.

It takes 10 hours flying time to reach Papua, home of ISL champions Persipura Jayapura, a trip that involves a landing approach that requires the 20-seater propeller plane to fly low and in between two misty mountains.

"I may be the coach but even I get tired from the travelling," Fandi, who was at the wheel, lamented.

Even the short trips can be troublesome.

Baihakki and Mustafic have been quick at making friends at Persija. And one of their new buddies is Bambang Pamungkas.

Already, the Indonesia star striker has briefed the duo on the club's deadly rivalry with Persib Bandung, who are a two-hour drive away from Jakarta.

"Bambang showed us a video of the road trip to Bandung," revealed Baihakki.

"We will take the coach from Jakarta and it will stop at the tollway just before the border to Bandung. We will cross the border on foot and board the two tanks that will be waiting for us.

"Two armoured trucks full of soldiers will also escort us into the stadium. It will be normal if we have to wait three hours in the dressing room after the game as there will be lots of fighting in the stands.

"Even after three hours, the tanks will be hit by all kinds of missiles when we eventually leave the stadium."

Then, there is also the small matter of getting up in the morning.

While most S-League teams train in the evenings, ISL clubs are at at work at the crack of dawn.

"I'm really not a morning person," was how Mustafic summed up his experience so far with Persija, whose trainings start at 7.30am.

"The club trains at an army camp outside the city and there are big traffic jams along the way. That means I have to be up at 5.30am."

Rock hard pitches can be another problem.

Ridhuan showed me his toes, all 10 of them blackened with blood clots beneath the nails.

"I can wear boots made of synthetic material back in Singapore," he said.

"But I have to wear leather ones now in Indonesia. Running on the fields here can be really painful for your feet."

With Indonesia a vast archipelago of 17, 508 islands, the country boasts a wide spectrum of people.

For Kadir, the cultural diversity has its funny side, too.

He said: "Just the other day, a python appeared on the training pitch. We ran for our lives.

"But this is nothing to Yoann Ibo, who has seen all kinds of wildlife in his native Papua. He was so happy to see the snake that he ran after the python, wrestled it and proudly showed it to us."

Before we knew it, what was supposed to be a 90 minute drive back to Jakarta was over in about half the time.

It is thanks to Fandi's wonderful, and new found, driving ability.

Having been coaching Pelita since 2006, the 47-year-old has adapted extremely well to the unique demands of Indonesian and ISL life.

"You just have to give in to the culture here," Fandi said. "The more you try to fight it, the more frustrated you will get. It's better to just blend in and go with the flow."

And who was it who said that overtaking is difficult in a street circuit?

Kadir is full of praise for his friend's skills behind the wheel.

His verdict: "This is even faster than F1. This is F2 - Fandi 2."

But scrape beneath that PR-gloss, there is at least one old-school driver, with his own rules, his own character and his own mysterious ways.

Give Kimi Raikkonen a rabbit to chase and that is all that he cares about.

Forget about the niceties, the PR drivel and mountains of technical information, the Finn just wants to race and nothing else.

This is a point he made in Singapore.

He showed up at sponsor events and walked the track wearing a red Ferrari shirt, camouflaged bermudas and slippers combo on Friday.

He mumbled when asked about Crashgate and his future with the Scuderia but his answer is clear: He has nothing much to say simply because he is not Nelson Piquet Junior/Pat Symonds/Flavio Briatore and nothing official has come from Ferrari on his rumoured departure.

Raikkonen, who has said that he will give his best at SingTel Singapore Grand Prix, tempered his statement when he explained his current poor form — it is the machine that takes the blame.

This is a point he made at a Shell event at ION Orchard, a comment he repeated again at St James Power Station, where he appeared at a Puma party.

Ferrari will not be pleased to hear that but chances are, he probably doesn't care.

This is a man so laidback that on his F1 debut for Sauber in 2001 at the Australian Grand Prix, he was asleep 30 minutes before the race before he went on to score a championship point at the age of 21.

Six years later, he almost fell asleep inside his scarlet machine at the same event.

Ferrari engineers struggle to comprehend him as the team radio would go silent, only for it to be broken by Raikkonen's whispers.

Only one man in the garage understood what those short, clipped sentences meant — Andrea Stella, an engineer.

Thus, the "Kimi-translator" was promoted to be Raikkonen's personal race engineer as the conduit between pilot and pit wall.

That is a topic from The Straits Times that brought a smile for longer than usual from the dude they dub "Iceman".

See, he is not that arrogant, ignorant snob some have tried to paint him out to be. Beyond the deadpan, this is a man who knows how to joke.

Somebody once asked what his tires felt like. "Rolled as usual," he replied, poker-faced as usual.

When Lewis Hamilton described his first F1 win as "better than having sex". Raikkonen's simply was: "Maybe he never had sex."

He may not be a quote machine. But sometimes, less is more.

Read more:
Iceman keeps cool
Brawns quickest in 1st practice
Mallya plans to be in Singapore points
Smooth operator

No, I'm not reading a Lamborghini brochure. Rather, this is how they advertise football boots these days.

Do I really care if dual density studs could make me stand on terra firma?

Will V-twin lacing system (what is that?) impress Singapore coach Raddy Avramovic enough to promote me from my Sunday kickabout team to the full international side?

And will a molded heel counter make me dribble like Messi, score like Torres and bend it like Posh Spouse?

Nah. I can head-butt like Zidane but that's another story altogether.

Every Sunday, I pack my black boots for a kickabout. They’re a timeless classic made of soft kangaroo leather and features 13 old-school round studs instead of the bladed types you see today.

In fact, my clogs have a design that dates back to 1979 and has been unchanged since. At 332 grams, they're a sumo wrestler compared to its modern-day equivalent of a supermodel on a water-and-lettuce diet.

I'm no great footballer myself but I cannot resist a smug grin whenever I see a weekend warrior slice the ball over an open goal wearing the latest word in football fashion.

They wear cleats that adorn Cristiano Ronaldo's pedicured feet which tip the scales at a mere 180 grams.

This year, Puma teamed up with Ferrari to produce a limited-edition masterpiece that weighs just 165 grams, slightly heavier than a typical mobile phone. Only 815 pieces were made.

Some have produced kits that allow the player to build an entire boot to his own specifications.

Some brands even pack their boots in a collector's chest that comes with a tin of polish called "leather food". To the uninitiated, it's another word for Kiwi shoe polish.

I can understand why the technology is important to guys like Lampard, Benzema or even the blokes in Romania's second division and the S-League.

Every little bit of advantage, be it extra swerve, weight savings or comfort could make the difference between the ball bulging the net or smacking the crossbar.

Of course, there is the "feel good" factor of wearing these multi-coloured creations that come in a kaleidoscope of hues.

If you're a pro, having top-of-the-line boots will help you look the part.

But having space-age lightweight footwear comes with a price. Nobody would have heard about the metatarsal, aka The Beckham Bone, 30 years ago.

The modern boot, light as it may be, has sacrificed protective padding as it went anorexic.

That led to an old-timer to scoff: "Back then, your leg was either broken or not broken."

But, as they say, to each his own.

I believe in my old-fashioned boots. And I'm still blissfully unaware of what a broken metatarsal feels like.

And whenever I see a designer-boot wearing kid mis-kick from two metres out, I can't help but think of the scoreline: Function 1 - Fashion 0.

In a society conscious of "losing face", Jorg Steinbrunner, a German-born PR who has been in Singapore for a decade, certainly made my week last Friday.

Until then, The Straits Times had stirred a talking point around his club, Sengkang Punggol, after it emerged that the team is financed by moneybags chairman Ben Lim, who has investments in goldmines.

Hence, "The S-League's Manchester City" headline.

With that, tongues in the local football circle started wagging. Some sniggered, scoffed and even poured scorn on the Hougang-based club, who has never finished higher than eighth and were wooden spoonists four times.

When Sengkang ran out to the Jalan Besar Stadium pitch to warm-up for their televised game against Gombak United last Friday, I was gobsmacked.

Maybe, they did take the Manchester City comparisons a little too seriously as they ditched their all-white kit for a sky blue one similar to City's.

Then, there was Indra Sahdan Daud, too.

Just when we thought he had to sit this game out due to him serving a one month notice after quitting the police force, he finally gained clearance to play two hours before kick-off.

That brought instant comparisons with Robinho's dramatic transfer deadline deal.

The disjointed passing, wayward shooting and clueless running... City, sorry, Sengkang, were disappointing when they lost 0-1 to Gombak.

After the loss, Steinbrunner could have sulked. He could have blasted yours truly for calling his team "Manchester City", a tag that perhaps brought his team unnecessary pressure.

Instead, he saw the funnier side, said that the S-League needed some laughter and even remarked that some people have started calling him Mark Hughes.

It took a brave man to face the media after his side had floundered in the limelight.

Steinbrunner was honest to admit his team's failings. And he defused a potentially explosive showdown with the press with his wisecracks.

Another coach may have wanted to point accusing fingers and throttle some of the writers gathered in the press room that night.

Your team may have lost on the day, but Jorg, my hat's off to you.

Rafa Benitez is a manager “Under Pressure”.

Manchester United, Real Madrid, Inter Milan and Singapore Armed Forces FC can all blare “We Are The Champions” on the PA systems at their stadiums.

But today, it is a case of “Another One Bites The Dust” as Dalian Shide were shown the door after their maiden voyage in the S-League turned into a hopeless wreck.

They will be replaced by Bruneian outfit Duli Pengiran Muda Mahkota Football Club, or DPMM for short, for the 2009 campaign.

Foreign team arrives in blaze of publicity but leaves Singapore with tail between their legs.

Sound familiar? That’s because this has happened to four teams so far who have  tried their luck in the S-League, which has been accepting overseas clubs since 2003 in an attempt to spice up the competition.

Sinchi (poor discipline on the pitch), Sporting Afrique (ill-treatment of players), Liaoning Guangyuan (match-fixing) and Dalian (abysmal performance) have come and gone.

None of them finished higher than seventh in the S-League, which usually has 11 or 12 teams competing.

The Super Reds enjoyed some success, finishing third last year, after a $2 million cash injection by chairman Charlie Yoon but with the economy in a tailspin, the Korean club is unable to attract players with K-League experience again.

Only Albirex Niigata, a mid-table outfit with strong connections to their Singaporean fan base, enjoyed success here.

DPMM, who announced a target of a top-three finish, should at least replicate Albirex’s success. If not, there is little point in having them here.

They have deep pockets, no doubt. For starters, they are owned by crown prince Al-Muhtadee Billah, heir to the sultanate.

They will play half their matches at home in Bandar Seri Begawan and they have offered to subsidise the travelling expenses of the S-League teams.

And they do have a track record when they played in Malaysia.

In 2006, they won promotion to the Super League when they finished third in the second-tiered Premier League. A year later, they ended up third in the top flight.

But they have failed to make any impact in Singapore, where they were invited to play in the Singapore Cup from 2004 to last season.

In five attempts, they have never  made it past the first round, leading to the likelihood that they will be steamrolled by powerhouses SAFFC, Home United or even teams like Gombak United.

With so little time to prepare for the new season, which kicks off next Monday, it remains to be seen how the Bruneian newbies can impress on the pitch.

That is the cold hard truth facing the S-League’s latest guest.

Cue the opening bass riff of “Under Pressure”.

Some officials believe Singapore's favourite footballing son's heir is finally found and his name is Khairul Nizam, a 17-year-old now training with the Young Lions.

Heir apparent?
ST Photo: Albert Sim

Some might scoff at this revelation and I don't blame them.

After all and all too often, any youngster that scores a couple of goals in the Lion City Cup, the tournament that Fandi used to announce his arrival, will be dubbed "the new Fandi".

Or any promising striker that has a few good outings in the Prime League or S-League will be elevated into the "new Fandi" status.

The Straits Times has an electronic archive that allows journalists to read old newspaper articles printed by the Singapore Press Holdings.

Type "new Fandi Ahmad" and a string of names can be found.

Some you might have heard, like Indra Sahdan Daud, Ahmad Latiff Khamarudin, Khairul Amri and Noh Alam Shah.

Many more you probably have not, like Norfahazly Kamsan, Said Salim and Fadzuhasny Juraimi. 

The only shocker is that the list of names becomes longer when you type "latest Fandi Ahmad" in the query box.

None has lived up to that hype.

Indra had Fandi's qualities on the deck while Alam Shah had similar aerial powers but neither enjoyed the consistent success Singapore's favourite footballer had.

Norfahazly, Said and Fadzuhasny have faded away, for various reasons.

Yet, FAS officials sincerely believe Nizam is The One, saying that he is the "closest thing there is to Fandi". They hope that with careful grooming and if the teenager keeps his feet planted firmly on the ground, he can make it big in football.

A sparring match between the Young Lions and Raddy Avramovic's senior team on Sunday showed why.

Coming on as a second-half substitute, he had five shots and two headers in 45 minutes, inspiring his team to a battling performance as they went down 2-3 to the Lions.

He "hung" in the air, a Fandi signature move, leaping to beat towering defender Baihakki Khaizan in aerial duels.

He had an arsenal of flicks, what former Malaysia Cup coach Choo Seng Quee called "weapons", to turn on the ball and dribble past markers in one fluid motion.

Even though six out of his seven attempts sailed wide or over the bar, he is not afraid to fail and kept chipping away.

But when the one that was on target, it bulged the net.

Nizam dispossessed left-back Juma'at Jantan on the flank before bearing down on Lionel Lewis and beating Singapore's first-choice goalkeeper with an emphatic finish.

This was against a backline that had the best defensive record when it conceded just twice in the recent AFF Suzuki Cup.

He is not the finished article, that's for sure.

Nizam still struggles with his fitness, which explains why he could only terrorise opponents for one-half. He is still frail and lacks the muscles to batter centre-backs into submission.

However, in that fleeting appearance, he did provide a precious glimpse of his immense potential and a mirror image of Fandi.

But to be Fandi is to carry the hopes of a nation hungry for success in football, above all other sports.

To be Fandi is to be a role model to kids, to inspire children to pick up the game and to drill home the message of hard training and clean living.

To be Fandi is to carry on playing even though his body tells him to stop, as the man previously obliged Kallang even though he had eight operations on both shoulders and ankles - and even a deep gash on his buttocks no thanks to a freak accident after he unwittingly sat on a seat lever in a bus.

Fandi was always early for training working on his fitness and stayed back late to polish his finishing.

A skinny lad in his teens, he built up mass with a crash diet of carbohydrates and meat during his stint with Dutch side FC Groningen.

They have similar qualities on the pitch, similar physiques at the age of 17 and both singled out as special talents, but Nizam still has a long way to go to emulate Fandi.

He needs lots of physical training and nutrition to beef up his willowy frame and even more imperative is loads of work on his stamina.

The boy lasted just 35 minutes of his 45-minute appearance. In the last 10 minutes, he was reduced to the role of a walking pedestrian.

Still, his talent is undeniable.

When I met the man himself in his Jakarta home last month, yours truly could not resist asking the king about his heir apparent.

With a shrug of his shoulder, Fandi's short reply was: "Let's wait and see.''

Fandi is right. For sure, he must have been asked this countless times, the question on his successor.

So many had come and gone, without even making any impact. The tag "the new Fandi" is both a blessing and a curse, with every young player bestowed that label failing to deliver.

Khairul Nizam is a bright new hope, arguably the brightest ever since a young Fandi burst onto the scene as a very special 16-year-old more than 30 years ago.

We can only hope he makes it. Singapore is crying out for a genuine football hero.

SINGAPORE and Vietnam drew 0-0 in the first leg of their Asean Football Federation Suzuki Cup semi-final in Hanoi tonight.

The return leg will be played at the National Stadium in Kallang this Sunday.

But Lions coach Raddy Avramovic was far from happy with his team's display at the My Dinh Stadium, saying it was their worst performance in the tournament.

He said: "Nobody moved. The players were not supporting each other. They simply cannot play like that."

The Lions and members of the press pack are currently in Hanoi for the Asean Football Federation Suzuki Cup semi-final first leg against Vietnam.

It is a hectic working trip and whatever precious free time we have is fully made use of.

While waiting for coach Raddy Avramovic to show up at the Vietnam Football Federation offices for a press conference, the journos tried out the street fare.

Amidst the quaint old shophouses, there was a roadside barber clipping away, giving his elderly customer a neat haircut.

We ordered coffee from a roadside shop.

It was served in a cup, nothing unusual about that. But it was also kept warm in a bowl of hot water.

And when it came to the "Pepsi challenge", Vietnamese coffee is a winner.

It's potent like a double-shot black espresso and it's guaranteed to wake you up. But it's also sweet, thanks to the condensed milk.

Such is the reputation of Vietnamese coffee that several members of the backroom staff have already stocked up on boxes of the pre-mixed satchets.

Perhaps the Lions should have a bowl or two to boost their energy levels before the next match!

Caffeine shot, anyone?
ST Photo

The national players checked into their base at Tanjong Pagar's Amara Hotel yesterday afternoon and even if they don't win next month's Asean Football Federation Suzuki Cup, they are already leading the table when it comes to fashion statements.

With every player required to wear standardised training gear and match jerseys, one way to distinguish the lot is through their hairstyles.

There seemed to be a new "ang moh" import in Raddy Avramovic's side until closer inspection revealed that the player in question is Noh Alam Shah, who dyed his mop peroxide blond.

Captain Indra Sahdan Daud, without an international goal for 17 months, hopes his new ash-coloured hair can bring him luck.

Perhaps, the corn rows have straightened out Agu Casmir, who has been on fire for Gombak United and the national team in the second half of the season.

Hulking centre-back Precious Emuejeraye sported a spiky haircut complete with blond highlights to make him even more intimidating in front of opposing strikers.

But one player set tongues wagging more than any other.

Without disrespect, Shi Jiayi's body perm is a blast from the past.

However, the Shanghai-born midfielder is immensely proud of his bouffant hairdo.

All he needs now are matching shoulder pads and he is ready to be teleported back to the 1980s.

That was opening quip from Christian Horner, the team principal for Red Bull racing, in his e-mail to yours truly.

The Red Bull boss wrote in to clarify the brouhaha over his own comments last weekend.

Then, Horner suggested that an MRT train passing underground might have generated static to surge Mark Webber's mean machine at Turn 13, just outside Fullerton Hotel.

Nein, said SMRT, who explained that the nearest track, running from Raffles Place station, is at least 200 metres away.

Associate Professor Seah Kar Heng, from the National University of Singapore's department of mechanical engineering, agreed that the sheer distance meant that the malfunction was unlikely to be caused by a passing train.

The academic, who contacted The Straits Times to share his views, also added an important piece of information: The cars gearboxes will have sufficient shielding against electro-magnetism and static.

Some of Assoc Prof Seah's former graduates were picked as scrutineers for the Force India, Toro Rosso and... Red Bull teams.

Scrutineers are officials who are appointed to inspect and ensure that F1 cars adhere to safety and race regulations.

An expert, who has experience building race cars, dismissed Red Bull's claims as "ridiculous" in a phone call to this reporter.

"That's bull,'' a friend of mine, an F1 nut, texted, obviously punning on the team name.

In other words, it was virtually impossible for an MRT train to derail Webber's car.

One vibe that I got was how some teams wanted to stir controversy after the race was done and dusted.

Like Ferrari supremo Luca di Montezemolo, for example.

The Italian, who watches the races from the comfort of his home near Bologna, labelled the Singapore race "a circus" after Felipe Massa's pit-stop disaster and Kimi Raikkonen crashed out at the tricky Turn 10 outside Singapore Cricket Club.

That prompted Singaporeans to bite back at di Montezemolo with letters to The Straits times condemning his insulting remarks.

Even Formula One Management boss Bernie Ecclestone chipped in, countering that if the Singapore night race was a circus, he thanked Ferrari for "supplying the clowns".

Let's be honest.

Ferrari was failed by trying a newfangled "traffic light" system instead of the traditional "lollipop". The gadget wrongly signalled Massa to proceed with the fuel rig attached to the car.

Quite rightly so, the team will now revert to the conventional "lollipop" to avoid further embarassment.

As for Raikkonen, the Finn stumbled at the bumpy turn and spun out of control.

But 14 other drivers coped with that and completed the 61-lap race on the night the Prancing Horses felt like they were donkeys.

Singaporeans have every right to be proud of the night race, which received near universal acclaim for the spectacular show. They just don't like people to rain -- or pour cold water -- on their parade.

It's funny how Ferrari never raised a hoot when Massa qualified on pole while Raikkonen sat comfortably in third. They let fly only when both drivers failed to bring home the bacon.

But let's hope this whole episode will close and let the disappointed teams regroup and rethink their strategies for tackling the Singapore circuit next year.

For all the beautiful night lights and the breathtaking city skyline, there is no escaping the fact that this is a most demanding track that requries every once of effort and concentration from the drivers.

Hopefully, Red Bull and Ferrari will take note and come back as stronger challengers.

Perhaps, a diet of sour grapes and humble pie might help.