I HADN'T realised my mother was so old.
While we may know a lot about many, trivial, things — like the number of Oscars won by Titanic — but we can also be quite clueless when it comes to more important matters.
Certainly, I cannot claim to be very knowledgeable about issues concerning my mother.
Do I know if she is, say, 100 per cent healthy? No, I don't. Do I know if she's content with her daily routines? No, I don't.
I took her to a rare lunch outing the other day, just the two of us. She reminded me to celebrate my birthday on an upcoming date, which was deemed auspicious according to the Chinese calendar.
I casually asked her how old she is. She said: "78". I was stumped for a while.
Come to think of it, I was aware that her hair was showing more patches of white. But I had always believed that she was, oh, in her late 60s.
Suddenly, an alert signal flared up in my head — how many more years could she expect to live? And what have I done for her?
Maybe this same niggling question also pops up in the minds of other people who have ageing parents?
Are we really so busy, or are we actually self-absorbed, when we say that we don't have time for our parents?
When we do visit our parents, do we do it out of duty, or a genuine desire to want to be with them and do things with them?
Or, when we talk to our parents, are we only half-listening to what they say, distracted by other thoughts in our heads?
Do we — horrors — find mum and dad repetitive, even boring?
When we take them out for dinner, are they merely filling a seat while the conversation is largely in English (which they may not understand) among other family members?
My mother-in-law is also getting older, and recent falls have made her a lot less mobile.
My wife and I visited her recently. My wife suggested that we take her out for a car ride to break the monotony of staying at home. We actually ended up doing more than that — we also took her to visit some relatives.
I swear that when we sent her home in the evening, I could detect a radiance in her face.
The outing had meant that much to her. I was very pleased too.