PARALYSED by a stroke, Mohd Juana Nan, 46, lies on the bed in his Holland Drive flat, unable to walk, talk or move the right side of his body. He spends 10 hours every day all alone, when his wife Madam Samsiah, 50, is away at work.
He watches television. He stares at the ceiling.
Or he sleeps.
When hungry, he uses his left hand to grasp some kueh or biscuits Madam Samsiah leaves by his bedside.
Madam Samsiah, who works in an electronics factory, can't earn lucrative overtime pay because she needs to rush home from work to feed him dinner.
After initially searching for a nursing home bed, she decided to look after him herself so that her husband can remain where he belongs – at home. Juggling a full time job with caregiving is hard. But the production operator in an electronics factory is not complaining.
'He is happier here,' she told me sitting by her husband's bedside when I visited their modest home. At that, Mr Juana's face broke into a slow smile. And he slowly lifted his left hand to give a thumbs up.
While working on a Saturday Special Report on long-term care – published in today's The Straits Times – I came across several stories of love, dedication and sacrifice as sons, daughters or spouses care for their sick or aged loved ones.
Some like Madam Samsiah valiantly juggle a job and a nursemaid's role. Others have put their careers on hold to tend to a sick loved one.
Significantly, many older folk here are being cared for by their unmarried children – like Ms Irene Chia, Ms Irene Ng or Mr J Chua. All three are in their 40s and 50s. All three have made work – and material sacrifices – to better tend to their parents.
But all three don't have much savings. Mr Chua, for instance, who gave up his job as a Chinese translator to tend to two parents worries about the costs of care. Looking after his bed-bound parents costs about $1,400 a month. His four siblings earn a combined income of a little more than $9,000 and the family qualifies for only 25 per cent subsidies for home visits by a doctor or nurse. He is keen to get back to full time work himself as he needs to save for his own old age.
This trend of children or spouse tending to frail or ageing loved ones is not new. It's what people have done for generations.
But with more here opting to stay unmarried, those who will need professional care as they age can only grow. There are already around 70,000 people here who live alone or with an elderly spouse.
Nursing homes are already running close to capacity. Waiting times are inching up and the sector is facing a manpower crunch. In some nursing homes, a single staff member – usually a foreign worker – needs to look after more than 30 patients at night. Their pay too – at $350 is less than that of many maids.
Today, Madam Samsiah, Ms Chia, Ms Ng and Mr Chua are tending tirelessly to the parents who raised them and made them who they are.
But as I visited their homes and listened to their stories, I couldn't help but wonder who will care for them when they grow old?
(To share your insights and experiences on eldercare in Singapore e-mail radhab@sph.com.sg)
Read the Saturday Special Report here