WHEN I read my Life! colleague Tara Tan's cover story today - Where have all the dancers gone? - I couldn't help feel a bittersweet twinge in my balletomane's heart.

You see, my passion when I was younger was ballet. I started the good-toes-bad-toes regime when I was four, and only stopped proper training when I went off to university when I was 18.

So obsessed was I that, at age 10, I wrote off to an English school and got in based on my Royal Academy of Dancing results, presenting my shocked parents with a fait accompli. (Of course, I wasn't allowed to go.)

Still, from four till 18, I trained at least thrice weekly at the Singapore Ballet Academy under local ballet doyen Goh Soo Khim, won several scholarships to train abroad and danced as a scholar with the Singapore Dance Theatre (SDT) from the days of its inception.

Why, do you ask, didn't I pursue my passion?

Well, I suppose I was a pragmatic Singaporean. My shrewd father planted thoughts in my head such as: "What if you get injured? You'll have no 'O' Levels to fall back on. And if you end up as a ballet teacher, will you be happy with the income level and will you be able to enjoy the quality of your life?" Totally logical. Sigh.

To his credit, he only required me to finish my 'O' Levels, and let me decide whether to do my 'A' Levels. Having being offered a position in the government's junior college Humanities Programme, and later getting a place in a top UK university, I knew I would break my father's heart if I chose pirouettes over political science.

So I hung up the toe shoes.

My last pair. Circa 1993
ST Photo: Joanne Lee

Back to why local dancers don't return though. The reason is simple: Artistes are simply not respected as they are in other countries for their talent and years of sacrifice.

It's akin to the argument about why Singapore sports talents choose not to pursue their particular passion - because the input greatly outweighs the output. True, the payout of true passion is never weighed out in gold, but in this materialistic world, unless you're a Tiger Woods or a Michael Phelps (in ballet terms: a Sylvie Guillem or a Darcey Bussell), it's hard to support oneself - and even a family - on passion alone.

What about the renaissance artists then? One might argue. How would we have had a Michelangelo or a Da Vinci if they paid more heed to their empty stomachs than sculpting or painting? Well, that argument holds no water, because in those days, artists were treasured and taken care of by the likes of the rich Medici families and various European courts.

So that is the nub of it. Who is going to step up to support our local artistes? As far as I know with the Singapore Dance Theatre back in the days, it had enough corporate sponsorship to cover its costs, but not enough to pay its dancers salaries on par with foreign companies. (Things could well be different now, I shan't assume.)

Also, reality check: Singapore is a little red dot.

Foreign companies simply have more talent to pit oneself against, and they have the choreographic breadth and the artistic scope for dancers to challenge and bolster their range.

Take Kuik Swee Boon - whom Tara featured in Life! today. He started his ballet training with us when I was about 15. (Men, you see, can start training much later in life unlike girls who need to start at four.)

Artistic Director of
T.H.E. Dance Company now.
ST file photo

After I'd left Singapore's shores to pursue an academic education, Swee Boon went on to nurture his exceptional talent and ended up as the SDT's danseur noble - the male equivalent of a ballerina.

Every time I watched him improve from performance to performance, I'd cry inside - because that could have been me. Indeed, when the SDT moved to its then-new premises at Fort Canning, he was my partner at the opening ceremony.

I'm much fatter now, obviously.
ST file photo

Swee Boon left Singapore and the SDT in 2002 to join Spain's Compania Nacional de Danza as a principal dancer - a great feat for a locally-trained dancer - in all probability for all the reasons I outlined above.

But he came back.

In 2007, he decided to return after five years "to pass on the knowledge" he had gleaned and is now artistic director of his own company T.H.E. Dance Company.

Hopefully more dancers like him will follow their dreams but bring those dreams home again one day. And, even more importantly, hopefully more corporates and the-man-in-the-audience will treasure our home-trained dancers as national talents that require more financial support if they stay in Singapore.

Maybe, just maybe, had that been the case back when I had to make those hard decisions, I would have chosen differently and not be sitting here at the computer now on my cellulite-ridden posterior.

Why do you think our dancers don't return? Leave your comments here.