FOUR words - the book is better.
Alan Moore had a good gig going: Put a bunch of superhumans together, give them all too human weaknesses, and see them crumble as the society around them goes to pieces.
Well, the movie doesn't quite convey that pervasive sense of bleakness that poured through every page in the graphic novel.
What I liked about the movie was the great production values. Make no mistake, it's a pretty movie. The effects were good, and Archie - the Owl-mobile - was a sight to see, and the fight scenes were well-choreographed.
But all I could think of as I watched the movie was if Laurie Jupiter's (Silk Spectre II) superhuman powers were going to be able to fit into that skintight, garish plastic suit - and still manage to breathe. Or if Dr Manhattan ever felt cold, because he was pretty much naked all the time.
I digress. In spite of all the flaws - especially the much lambasted ending which, honestly, deviated just a little from the graphic novel - I enjoyed the movie.
Slavish to the novel? I don't think so. Not by a long mile.
The only thing I worry about though is that for non-fanboys the pace of the movie is probably the second slowest in the history of movie-making.
The slowest of course being the 30-hour slavish adaptation of Tolstoy's War and Peace by some European arthouse director. It was so slow it was probably never made.
What the movie lacked in pace, it more than made up in characterisation.
Dr Manhattan's loneliness as an omnipotent being whose only flaw was his inability to relate to the world which both needs and rejects him at once, was made all the more poignant by his failed relationship with Laurie.
There was a palpable sense of loss as he told her, deadpan: "Why would I save a world I no longer have a stake in?"
Never mind that Laurie's response was a pretty pathetic: "For me". I mean, what guy would save the world after his girlfriend had cheated on him? But then again, Dr Manhattan isn’t human, he’s superhuman.
Roscharch? He was menacing. He was a downright sociopath. But in the end, director Zach Snyder's portrayal fell flat. Roscharch cried.
I mean, really. Roscharch? Crying? He would do a backflip, triple somersaults AND then roll in his grave before he would even tear-up, badass that he is. But yeah, he cried.
But it was with Ozymandias' character that Snyder fell most. The "world's most intelligent man" came across as a cardboard villian.
In the book, he was a tragic Greek hero, who sacrificed his ideals and killed millions so that billions might live. In the movie, he was the pasty, skinny pariah who would be the last to be picked for a street soccer game in school.
Every hero in the Watchmen had his or her own sacrifice; Ozymandias just did not pull it off.
Which leaves me with just one conclusion - the same one which Moore had made.
Four words: It can't be adapted.