FIRST things first: A big thank you to all those who responded to my blog entry on Friday Was Rihanna semi-responsible? Domestic/dating abuse is a very serious issue, which is why I thought I'd share my very mild experience and how it changed my life.

Secondly: To all those who pointed out that by sharing my experience I was being socially irresponsible and doing an injustice to victims of serious abuse, all I can say is this - I was merely trying to share what I learnt and how I think it has helped me "temper my temper" over the years. I was sharing my experience; I wasn't saying it applied to all abuse cases.

Here's how it all came about.

There I was, working on a Friday evening, listening to a re-run of Larry King on CNN about how R&B singer Chris Brown had been arraigned earlier in the week for beating up his star girlfriend Rihanna. The news point was that Rihanna appeared to have forgiven him for the horrendous beating and Larry's question was: What sort of message was this sending out to young people who see pop stars as role models?

Larry King had brought up the point that, although most everyone has castigated Chris Brown for his extreme show of violence, there were other reactions from various quarters saying Rihanna possibly provoked him to perpetuating her boyfriend's chokehold-ear-biting-death-threat explosion.

In fact, one of Larry's studio guests pointed out several surveys indicating some teens blame both Chris Brown and Rihanna. My cousin sent me one of these surveys after I blogged: Boston youths say Rihanna was to blame for her beating. Now, that absolutely floored me.

"Yet 46 percent of the kids surveyed said that they thought Rihanna was to blame for the beating; 51 percent said Brown was at fault, and 52 percent said that both of them were somehow responsible. And, according to the survey, a significant number of males and females said Rihanna was now destroying Chris Brown's career.

The two got back together, which, while horrifying to many parents, doesn't seem to surprise many teenagers; 71 percent of respondents said that arguing is a normal part of a relationship, and 42 percent responded that fighting (presumably physically) was also normal."

That was what made me think about my own experience. That was what reminded me what a hoyden I could be when I was younger. That was what made me thankful I had learnt from those days and am a much less argumentative person these days. That was the point of my blog entry!

Do I think the young age of 19-year-old Chris Brown - or any abusive man (or woman) - allows him to get away with laying their hands on their partner? Of course not! I was quite shocked that readers of my blog thought I was trying to excuse abusers of any age!

Here's a sample:

(1) Jolene: "This is incredibly irresponsible coverage. People in abusive relationships are often stuck there precisely because they tell themselves, "If only I was a better wife/husband, if only I was a better parent, if only I wasn't so annoying, if only I behaved better, it would all be different, he/she loves me and it could all be so wonderful, if only I could FIX MYSELF."

What I was trying to say was: I eventually FIXED MYSELF FOR MYSELF.

(2) R: "As a 23 year old female, I find your post indicative that you have major self-esteem problems and seem to enjoy the game/challenge of dating aggressive men - and making excuses for their violent acts."

Thankfully, my current partner's only acts of violence involve him helping me kill monsters when we play World of Warcraft together. And hey, if I'm ready to put myself out here in a public forum, do you really think I have self-esteem problems? ;)

(3) DeeW: "You are destined to be abused again. You have the mentality of an abused woman. You should be embarassed by this blog entry as it highlights that you see yourself unworthy to be treated with respect."

Thankfully, the only abuse I get these days are from my blog readers. LOL. Does that mean I see myself as unworthy to be treated with respect? Nah. It just shows I love writing.

(4) Tristan Coleshaw: "Ms Lee, if your opinion on the Chris Brown case is a result of years of psychotherapy to deal with your abusive relationship, then you've been poorly served by mental health services."

Please, read my initial blog again? My opinion on the Chris Brown case is that Rihanna should leave him immediately. 

(5) Kaffein: "Stupid is as stupid says. It’s like saying maybe a wife should change her attitude towards sex if her husband had raped/violated her."

Please do read my blog again. I stressed that my ex only hit out a couple of times, and they were very MILD cases because he stopped after one hit, knowing he was wrong. I think you've taken my statement in a rather exaggerated way. I DO NOT in any way think a man can be excused for raping or violating his wife.

Many have asked for a retraction and an apology from myself and/or The Straits Times for publishing my previous blog entry. That's a bit of an over-reaction when all I was saying was that I had learnt from my own date-abuse experience; when I wasn't even apportioning blame to the ex or myself.

The only apology I will offer is that I was perhaps not clear enough in my message. So here's a big sorry to those I offended.

But you know what?

I got the best response to my blog entry via Facebook from my ex: "Thank you for forgiving me."

Now that response is one that really means something to me.