PAUL Graham, a famous venture capitalist-cum-author said: "In a hundred subtle ways, the city sends you a message".

In Cambridge, home to some of the world's most brilliant intellectuals, the message is: You should be smarter. 

In London, the cornerstone of English royal history, the indelible message is: One should be more aristocratic.

In New York, the financial heartbeat of the United States, the message, loud and clear, is: You should be richer. 

And in Silicon Valley, the Zion of our new electronic world, the clear signal is: You should be more powerful.

Paul Graham doesn't mention other major Asian cities, but it got me thinking: What message does Singapore send out to you - as a Singaporean, an expat or a tourist?

When asked this question, a Swiss friend of mine working in the island state said Singapore's message is: "One should try to be liberal but still conservative at the same time". And of course, one should also own that car, condo, credit cards and country club memberships.

The message I got coming back after more than two years overseas is: "One should be in a hurry". One must be quick or lose out, be it queuing for the famous Katong laksa or getting married and having children.

Everyone seemed to walk so fast and trample on my toes to get on the bus (even though no one else was boarded and plenty of seats were available). 

But even more shocking for me when I came home was to find many of my peers (in their late twenties) married and expecting their first kid. When catching up with relatives, their first question was not how was your experience overseas, but when are you getting married? How bizarre!

Yet another message I picked up was: "One should work harder". Nothing wrong with that, but the hard work should continue even if one is exhausted and just about ready to drop. One must still work harder, or at least look like it. Huh?

While I was happily extending my student life by two years, my friends had been doing 12 hour days (and more) and working into their weekends too. They looked much older, they had dark patches under their eyes and some looked like they hadn't stepped out into the sun for a decade.

No wonder beauty parlours and spa businesses have been sprouting like wild flowers.

Even before the financial crisis, I noticed few happy faces on the train in the morning rush hour. Indeed, there are fewer happy faces in the after-office peak hour. People either seem to sleep, space out or lose themselves in computer games on their mobiles or handheld game consoles. They don't even look like they are looking forward to going home.

In a hundred subtle ways the message a city sends to an external observer lives in the subconsciousness of its inhabitants. Surely there is more to the message Singapore gives than this? 

And don't mistake this to be a question of what people think of you based on the clothes you wear or the brand of your bag. This message is embedded in one's facial expression and body language. 

What message does this city send to you? And more importantly, what message do you want to send to the city?

I would like to see more happy and content, welcoming and friendly Singaporeans. Smile and the world smiles with you. I would like the world to think of Singapore as a people who can stop to smell the roses.

What do you think?