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November 23, 2009 Monday

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Amanda Tan
Intern
And babies make... 15!
February 13, 2009 Friday, 06:53 PM
Amanda Tan weighs the decision whether to even have one baby.

I READ with amazement about 33-year-old Nadya Suleman’s multiple pregnancies when she gave birth in late January to octuplets; in addition to the six other children she already has.

That's 14 children. I was astonished by not just the sheer number of children, but that she had made this choice at all.

In countless reports she has said how happy she is to have so many children but her choices have left me puzzled.

I have to admit, I’m not a fan of babies, nor do I particularly like the notion of childbirth.

Perhaps I’m too young for marriage. Certainly, I'm not ready for child-bearing. In my mind, how does anyone say to themselves: "I'm now ready to sacrifice my life to create another"

Many couples don't consider having children a "sacrifice" but rather, an addition to the family. Someone to be embraced.

I, however, feel that having a child is just that, a sacrifice. It seems the only outcome is: "Hello, Junior. Bye-bye, dreams".

Before anyone takes offence, I must say many of those people I admire have life aspirations that include being a good mother.

I just don't think it's for me.

Call it selfishness on my part, but I grapple with the idea of helping another human being - which I’ve created - to pursue his or her dreams when I can’t even do the same for myself.

Shouldn't I "settle" my life first before I help someone else do that?

As for the familiar argument is that a baby bonds a family, I question why a relationship needs to anchor itself on anything?

I believe there are other factors that contribute to marital happiness - and they don’t have to include another human being.

Friends have urged me relentlessly to change my mind. Many more brush my declarations aside and insist that I will eat my words one day.

In fact, I'd love to find out how it feels to want kids.

Before that time comes, I do think society expectations are reinforced by people like Ms Suleman and celebrities like Angelina Jolie.

I might change my mind but I’m not betting on it; I still can’t see why anyone would want 14 children.



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Total comments: 4
guppy
February 23, 2009 Monday

You will regret it when

you are on ur deathbed and the only one that will miss you is your dog who is wondering who's going to feed him...

you are on your deathbed and you wonder what is your legacy

you are on your deathbed and you still have to say bye bye dreams that you still have not accomplished, but no juniors to bade farewell to

you are on your deathbed and realize that you are still not perfect enough to raise another human being

It is human nature to procreate. Based on your reasons, it is utter folly not to. I am living my dreams with my kid btw, and I am sure having a lot more fun than you. My dreams do not include changing diapers, but that is a inherent cost.

comment 2711 | Offensive? Report this comment
flower
February 15, 2009 Sunday

!4 kids mean 14 more family members. The amount of cost needed for the kids will be a lot. In the society now in an average family even raising 2 kids might be tough. I hope they wont regret their choice.

comment 2615 | Offensive? Report this comment
manhattanman
February 14, 2009 Saturday

14 children is too many..but perhaps one or two children could change your life. you will never know it unless u do it.
but then, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

comment 2603 | Offensive? Report this comment
manhattanman
February 14, 2009 Saturday

14 children is too many..but perhaps one or two children could change your life. you will never know it unless u do it.
but then, you may regret it for the rest of your life.

comment 2602 | Offensive? Report this comment

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