ANYONE who reads the ST Blogs regularly would know I'm a huge germaphobe and think we've been a little too H1N1 complacent.
So when I woke pre-dawn on Monday with acute spasms in my upper stomach area, I did what all hypochondriacs do: I self-medicated.
First, I swallowed ultracarbon tablets to mitigate what I thought was an acid problem. No luck, I threw it all up - with such violent retching that I triggered a migraine.
Then, I resorted to Traditional Chinese Medicine and swallowed a bottle of po-chai pills. Still no luck - up they came, with residual flecks of carbon tablets. Charming, I know.
At this point, the spasms were getting so bad, I was screaming in pain. So, H1N1 or not, I decided to haul myself to the nearest Accident and Emergency department at my nearest hospital (which, thankfully, was not Tan Tock Seng Hospital, home to the H1N1 petri dish - the Communicable Disease Centre).
Grabbing my bag - with its hand sanitiser and Dettol wet wipes conveniently inside already - I made sure I was fetched to hospital even though I didn't have a fever. No taxis, just in case.
I sent a little thank-you Heaven-ward (no pun intended) when the A&E sentries confirmed I had no fever and deposited me in the normal wards.
Normal ward. Phew.
ST Photo: Joanne Lee
Hateful though they are, I wore my cloth mask without complaint - even though I had breathing problems when the spasms hit - and secretly sanitised my hands every time a nurse touched me.
Alas, once they injected the catheter into my right hand to hit me with intravenous anti-spasmodic fluids, painkillers and an IV drip, I had to give up my admittedly ridiculous behaviour and give in to the welcome groggy haze that took over the acutely painful afflictions.
No more hand sanitisi...zzz.
ST Photo: Joanne Lee
About four hours later, when the spasms finally subsided and the pain was under control, I couldn't wait for the catheter to be removed so I could continue my hand sanitising.
And as I was waiting groggily at the pharmacy and check-out clerk area, I wiped down with sanitiser wipes when I got my medicines and Nets card back from the clerk. (This, by the way, is something I learnt from CNN's Richard Quest in his Business Traveller programme in which he suggests wiping your passport down with sanitiser wipes when you get them back from immigration officers.)
So there I was, wearing my pyjamas and a fleeced hoodie, semi-conscious after being pumped up with painkillers, and I had to wait 10 minutes before my ride came along. The nurse led me out to the outdoor waiting area (for family and friends) but I politely thanked her - and continued walking.
There was no way I was going to sit there with a bunch of people whose loved ones might be inside with H1N1. I also refused to wait at the taxi stand drive-through where there was a long queue of people as well as various people milling about the hospital front area.
So guess what this valetudinarian did?
I stood in the plot of plants between the A&E and the taxi stand, backed-up against the wall (so I don't trample the foliage), miserably hot in my fleeced hoodie under the sweltering sun (since I had no energy to pull it off).
I must have been quite a sight, but you know what? With the daily toll of H1N1 cases going up, I was quite happy waiting in the midst of plants rather than among my fellow men.
Call me Wacko Jojo, but I wasn't about to bring any virus back home where I live with my (age-ing) parents - especially my Mom who suffers from severe asthma - people who are more at risk from H1N1 infection than I am.
So my point is: Although Singapore hasn't suffered from any H1N1 deaths yet, don't be too callous about being exposed to the virus. You might have a robust physical constitution, but those around you might not.
Okay, Wacko Jojo, out.
Read Jessica Jaganathan's less paranoid point of view here: Afraid of H1N1 no longer.
Read also: Cases cross 1,000 mark.