By Wong Kim Hoh
Senior Writer
kimhoh@sph.com.sg

 

OVER the last couple of months, I've been getting some lessons on courage.

My teachers were unlikely ones: Transsexuals.

Yes, those folks whom some deride viciously or treat piteously.

I have to confess my own feelings toward them vacillated between awkwardness and fascination prior to doing this week's special report.

I might not stare but I would definitely steal more than a glance when I saw one in public.

Is he? Isn't she? How can? Why did? Alas, I never had a close transsexual friend who could answer all these superficial questions dancing in my head.

And then, over several weeks, I sat down with more than a dozen of them.

They told me about an existence I've wondered, but never really thought deeply, about.

What I learnt was sobering.

I may not be the most well-adjusted invididual in the world but I've never had to agonise about who I am and where I fit in the world.

I've never grappled with agonising confusion, debilitating guilt and searing shame.

I've never had to make decisions which would break the heart of my parents, shame loved ones and incur the derision of strangers.

And I've never encountered hopelessness so wrenching that I would want to kill myself.

They have, and lived to tell the tale.

I'm sobered and chastened by their courage to fight, live, and in some cases, continue living.

And I wish more of us will have the courage to stop judging them.

Read Wong Kim Hoh's Saturday Special Report on transsexuals in today's edition of The Straits Times.