By Clarissa Oon
Senior Correspondent
clare@sph.com.sg

 

SHE is disturbed by this sight: teenage boys and girls on the MRT whom she saw falling asleep in their seats, right on cue, whenever a pregnant woman walked in.

The unionist, a mother of two children aged 17 and 19, spoke with rising passion in her voice about the consequences of Singapore's young being brought up by maids and babysitters and growing up without "family bonding" or thinking to look out for others.

Can our schools go beyond the paper chase and do more to teach them moral values and integrity, she asked Senior Minister of State for Education Grace Fu and labour MP Halimah Yacob.

The woman was one of 150 unionists - nearly all women - airing issues close to their hearts at a regular dialogue series organised by the NTUC's Women's Development Secretariat.

The latest session took place on Tuesday evening, inside the 16th floor glass pod of the National Library Building, the night lights of Singapore twinkling below.

"In the lift, when they see other people approaching, they will just press the button and shut the door regardless. To them, it's just me, my laws and myself," said the woman, annoyance and frustration written all over her face. She did not identify herself and declined to give her name to reporters later.

The "generation lost" - that was how she labelled this group of school-going teens, all chasing good grades and not much else.

Ms Fu and Madam Halimah, who had earlier shared their personal experiences as working mothers, agreed with her - but up to a point.

Character development is important, but is not something that can be easily taught in a classroom, said Ms Fu, a mother of three teenage sons.

"We have found from our experience that it is difficult to teach children right from wrong. It is difficult to teach moral values as a subject," she added.

She then described how she tries to do it: "Whenever I visit a school, that's a question I always ask. Are the teachers committed to character development? I will look at whether the children greet me as I walk into the class and if they don't, I will point it out and say it's not right."

For Madam Halimah, the larger question is whether parents are relying too much on maids and the school to mind their children. Singapore's "maid culture", she believes, has spoilt the young and led them to expect to be served by others.

She thinks society has taken "a convenient way out" by employing foreign maids in droves, instead of expanding and improving childcare centres and after-school care options.

"I've seen many families in restaurants where the maid is carrying the baby and does not eat, and then when she eats, it is the leftovers.  I am completely appalled." What kind of message does that send out to the kids, questioned the longtime unionist and mother of five grown-up children.

Bringing up caring and responsible children starts with parents setting the right example, she argued.

At the end of the day, who should be blamed for the bad behaviour of the young: absent parents, grades-obsessed teachers or the maid?

Blame game aside, perhaps as individuals we can start putting it right. The simplest thing any adult can do, when confronted with a rude teenager, is to tell him off.

Nicely, of course.